Monday, November 26, 2012
I also like being here for my child when she needs me. That is why my goal is to keep moving forward with trying to start with being a real estate agent. I imagine putting Emily on the bus in the morning, working on my lap top to do marketing, look at trends, write newsletters and search for the perfect home for my clients. I imagine showing homes in the evening when Scott is home to be with Emily. I am going to keep working toward my goal. I am working on networking now and will keep moving toward my goal. I am also working on getting my finances where I can do what I want to do too.
In the meantime, I am just home with Miss E. She isn't that sick luckily. She will be back on her fee tomorrow, I am sure.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
I escaped the office for mental health reasons and I think it is for the best. I am still beat but I do feel better. This is the first time I am blogging from my phone. I am grabbing a bite at Starbucks which I think is a good choice for healthy on the go food. I am eating a Bistro Box, the Goat Cheese and Garden veggies variety. I am also enjoying a sparkling water.
Here are the stats on the Bistro Box:
Not too bad for a little lunch!
Chicken Fajitas (2) = 10 points
8oz glass of water = 0 points
Dinner Total = 10 points
I ended the day pretty well. BUT, then I was up way to late. I thought maybe a little food would put me to sleep. So I dug into Mr. B's ice cream. I didn't even like the way it tasted, it was such a waste!
Peppermint Candy Ice Cream = 4 points
Middle of the night total = 4 points
All and all, not the worst food day but not good either.
I am going to get out of the office now because I don't want to rub my crabbiness off on others. Hopefully, I can perk up.
Monday, September 10, 2012
I just can't seem to eat breakfast early. I will work on it some more. Here's what is happening for lunch.
16 oz of water = 0 points
Baby Carrots = 0 points
Lean Cuisine Sesame Chicken = 9 points
Total for lunch = 9 points
I have some lemon yogurt for a snack later but I don't know that I will be able to stomach more food. It is weird that I am supposed to be on a diet yet I have to force myself to eat more. I had gotten in this bizarre habit of eating one HUGE meal per day. Seems like it might make you lose weight. It doesn't. At all. Not to mention it wreaking havoc on your body, bad for your blood sugar, all around bad plan. I am trying not to do that anymore.
10 oz glass of water = 0 points
1/2 banana = 0 points
Smart Ones Breakfast quesadilla = 5 points
Coffee with creamer = 1 points
Breakfast total = 6 points
I think I could make a better quesadilla. The cheese tasted really fake and like what you would get on nachos at the movies or something. The points value was good though.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
And the dinner of this:
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Breakfast this morning was another big bowl of my new favorite combo:
I have been crushing the Pumpkin Spice Flax Kashi bar into my Chobani Greek Yogurt. It was really good. My flavor today was pomegranate. I really liked that it had little pomegranate seeds in it. I also had two cups of coffee with cream. I have not made an attempt to not drink two. It just tastes so good. Darn. My tea tastes good as well but it isn't the same.
For lunch I had a LARGE glass of water. I am so bad at hydrating but I know that helps with my fatigue. I am pretty tired a lot but I have yet to really zero in what causes my fatigue. I have been checked for thyroid issues, anemia and a few other things that I thought my have been causing my fatigue. All negative. It could be a combination of things. In addition to the my big glass of water, I had a fuji apple that we had picked up at the Farmers Market over the last weekend.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Which is not unusual but it made me want something warm for lunch. So, I decided that something that would be warm and satisfying today would be soup and tea.
I also had a delicious greek yogurt, blood orange flavor for desert. It was delicious! It really did feel like dessert.
I hate workday mornings. I never get up on time. It is difficult for me because I am thinking about all of things I have to do for the week and I feel like it is easier to hide in my bed. Every minute counts. The longer I can stay in there, the less time I have to deal with my to do list. It is completely counter-intuitive thinking though because I get out of bed late and it causes major anxiety as I try to do all the things I need to do to get a 5-year-old and myself ready in the morning. I have dreams of waking up at 5:30am and working out and then leisurely getting ready. This is a goal of mine. I hear that waking up early is just a habit like anything else. It is a habit I need to adopt.
What is your morning routine? Does it include coffee?
Have a happy Monday morning!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
1.) Picture heavy, word light
2.) Singular focus
3.) Multiple time a day posting
4.) Good writing
I will try to make my blog something that I would want to read. But, I do need to make it something I would want to write too. I tend to be wordy, chaotic and lazy so the first three items will be a challenge for me. The last two shouldn't be too bad. I (almost) have a journalism minor so I think I am a decent writer and I have a natural sarcasm that some read as humor so I should be okay on the humor front as well.
My main goal is to make people want to read this because I think what I am going through is something a lot of other people are going through but it is hard to find something to read on the subject from a personal stand point. I struggle with an anxiety disorder and I am working through it one day at a time. I had been trying to deal with things on my own for 15 years and then I turned 30. I couldn't take it any longer and I felt about 100 years old. I was exhausted. I needed to take control of my life because I knew that if I had to live another 50 years or more like that, I was never going to make it. Something about turning 30 make me think that it was finally time to admit that I needed someone or something to help me feel better. I had NO IDEA what I should do. Counseling? Meds? Both? I didn't know but I knew that I had a long way to go. I was ready to do the work though. I called my insurance to see what was covered and was soon on medication prescribed by a psychiatric nurse practitioner and started going to a counselor. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I do not have OCD in the way so many people think of it. I don't wash my hands until they are raw or have other traditional checking rituals. I do have obsessive racing thoughts and I have panic attacks on the regular. About 1 year ago, I started with a new counselor. She is my savior. My first counselor and I didn't click and after a few months we had to "break-up". My new counselor and I are a good match and she has helped me immensely. But, none of this is really what I wanted to talk about.
What I did want this blog to be about is where I am today. Which is, I in the beginning of learning to live my life now that I am feeling better. I have worked my way out of utter chaos and while I may still have bad days, I am mucher calmer than I was a few years ago. In two weeks, I will 32. It has taken me two years but I am finally feeling like this is what it feels like to be me--the me I was hoping to be when I grew up. Like so many other things, keeping the anxiety at bay takes work. I have come up with a variety of ways to help myself feel good. Exersize, diet, yoga and writing are just a few ways that I have learned to control what used to control me. Now, I am tapering off my medications, only going to counselor once a month and I feel pretty good. Most days are calm and good. Some days are better than others. Now it's all about maintaining what I have worked on for the past two years.
This blog will be my journal of how I keep maintaining what I have worked so hard for. Of how I work on a daily basis to move from chaos to calm